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Dad's going to your pregnancy


Today's modern working woman's career symbol is not the woman's luxury car or the MacBook, but the man who goes on to become pregnant. However, in our small country this topic has also been the subject of heated debate.

For the time being, a unique feature of the father, who appears on the playground every day in Hungary, is that only one percent of males use childbirth, which the law can do for every parent. And if, rarely, a "cuckoo egg" is taken from a babysitter who cares for a child, many will admire the sadness of a "mother-in-law" dad.
He stubbornly maintains the socially held belief that the man is next to the family, and the woman's place is next to the stove, while the man is not alone in keeping the family. Typically, domestic practice shows that even when a father is staying at home, there are overwhelming financial reasons for it, and the final decision is to terminate the father's employment.

Dad can take care of the baby too


Supporting a woman's professional career is rarely an issue. Again, there are prose reasons for this: women, in the vast majority of cases, earn less than men who work in similar positions. Because males are overwhelmed by the higher incomes of the males, we have turned back to the material.

The Orient East

- We live in a country where cats are conservative views - transports Vekerdy ​​Tamбs pszicholуgus. - During my first foreign trip to England, in 1960, I found that after a dinner prepared and served by a female family, the men went out to wash. Here in Hungary today we mean all kinds of sticks. Yet, psychologically, we are all precarious: they are capable of reception and of cramping at the same time.
In our lives, there are alternating periods of men and women, and we are both hormonally dual: we all have two sex-specific hormones. Here at home, many men always boast that they don't even know where the kitchen is. But even in a country where there is a gender division of labor in the family, there is still something to do in men's nose. I'm thinking of Sweden, where in the '80s a very inventive satirical movie was made about what happens when a man and a man swap roles for a while.
The story is born of a young man who thinks that having a wife staying at home is great fun until he has to take care of a woman who has been called back to lead a life of his own. In Sweden, 16-17-year-olds are educated on family education - at home, it has been 40 years to make it a part of the curriculum, but this has not always changed.
Young parents end up with family without information, and they do not know that giving safety to their child is paramount. When it comes to paternalism, we face a complex problem: we can no longer maintain the superiority of the pater familiaris, and men are frightened of it. That a salary cannot survive a payment is a sociological problem - summarizes the psychologist.

Slow change

Fortunately, there are exceptions: there are men who keep the word of the times, the slow transformation of society, and there are families where they are consciously trying to play their part. All signs point to the emergence of a new appetite that calls for a closer relationship with the child. A father's growing parenting, a more active role in the baby's activities, at least suggests this.
The so-called tired fathers aim not only to bear the financial difficulties of the family, and to be present in the child's life, but also to play an equal parent role in the child's upbringing. It is true that dads are more inclined to do more pleasurable tasks than, for example, bathing, reading fairy tales, playing games, and even cooking, nappies, feeding. At the same time, mothers are generally more likely to take on a larger share of domestic work so that the father can do more with the child. "Many people think that if they can't spend half their time with a child, it's not worth it to start," says Tamás Vekerdy. "But every minute spent together!" If the father can only give his child five minutes, throw them in the air a few times, or sit on the carpet beside him, but do not bring your own sneakers or the door open.
The child does not need to be raised, but to live with him: to be there, to be there and to enjoy the company. At the same time, keep in mind that all little children need their mother first and foremost! For the sake of the relationship between the child and the parents, it would be a good solution if the first few months were for the mother and later for the father to be at home with the child.

You can take advantage!

In the field of childcare, regardless of gender, qualities that can be fruitful, both in parenting and in relation to other people, such as wisdom, empathy, empathy, tolerance, compassion, can develop significantly. It would also be important for the Fathers to stay home with the child, as a multi-year absence significantly reduces the competitiveness of women in the labor market.
Zoltá Puszti, the father, who is faithful to another year-old baby, admits that spending time with his child is the greatest wish. The native musician and novelist from Vojvodina was unable to find a job in the profession, so her baby was instantly home with the baby. For six months, they had been sharing with their superintendent about the child, but since they had been repatriated at their workplace, the couple decided that the grandfather would remain pregnant. They are obviously financially motivated, but for Zoltán, parenting brings so much happiness that she would love to stay with her baby until the age of three.
The mother went back to work with a hard heart, but now she realizes that her baby is in the best hands. On the question of whether the child is more attached to his father, the answer is clearly no: - I have not yet experienced any one being more attached to his father. It's important for our baby to be with him. As soon as her mom comes home, she jumps around her neck and is inseparable from that point on, says Zoltán. -
Fortunately, nowadays, it is becoming more and more accepted that dad stay at home, everyone in my environment naturally made our decision, he adds. "Regardless of how fate has brought it, for me it is an ubiquitous umbrella - I'm fortunate enough to be able to experience it."